Want to Talk Better with Your Partner? This Book Might Change Everything
Why “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg is a Must-Read for Couples in Therapy
Let’s be real – how many times have you said something to your partner, only to be met with a blank stare, a defensive comeback, or a completely different response than you expected?
You’re not alone. Communication breakdown is one of the most common issues couples face – and also one of the most fixable. That’s why I’m so excited about a new book that’s quickly becoming a game-changer in the world of relationships and therapy.
The book Supercommunicators was released in 2024 and I have found it has been helping some of my current couples on my caseload to develop healthier communication patterns, becoming more mindful when communicating with their partner along with reporting feeling more confidence when communicating with people and in social interactions.
Charles Duhigg (you might know him from The Power of Habit) dives into the science of communication and breaks down exactly why we often miss each other – and how to fix it in his new book. But this isn’t just another book on “How to talk better.” This is about how to truly connect, even when conversations feel tense, confusing, or emotionally charged.
Here are 3 big ideas that come from his new book;
There Are 3 Types of Conversations
Duhigg (2024) reveals that every conversation we have falls into one of three categories:
- Practical Conversations: About getting things done (“Did you pay the bills?” or “What’s for dinner?”).
- Emotional Conversations: Focused on feelings, vulnerability, and being heard.
- Social Conversations: All about connection, status, belonging, and identity.
The problem? Most of us don’t realize we’re in different types of conversations at the same time. You might be expressing hurt feelings (emotional), while your partner starts giving solutions (practical). Cue: disconnect. Supercommunicators are those magical people who instinctively recognize the type of conversation happening—and match it. The good news? You can learn how to do this too. Check it out and bring this up in your counseling sessions and see if this book helps with your communication patterns in your relationship.
Bottom Line: Communication Isn’t Just About Talking – It’s About Connecting (Duhigg, 2024)
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